This painting is part of my meditation how I see myself in a journey of healing.
First stage is grief and denial, where there are three female heads among cacti trying to escape or simply to take a breath of fresh air. It is where the problem starts, where I fight with myself. The more I try to escape the more painful I feel. The pain makes me angry at myself, blaming my family and others that are connected to my past. I end up with depression.
Second stage is acceptance. I paint it with a symbol of open eye. It takes time to evaluate everything that happened in the past. When, where and why that problem has happened. During that time I did a lot of meditation and personal retreat. When I accept the conditions now and the past I also forgive whoever makes me angry, whoever I blame in the past. I think I forgive to people, but actually what happens is I accept myself and I forgive myself.
Stage Three is Healing process. I paint two women controlling flamingos, me as women and flamingos as a sadness. When I accept and forgive everything that happened in the past I slowly get my strength to continue with my life. I think about what really matters in my life, about my priorities, which guide me to make myself happy. Sadness and self pity is not gone forever but whenever they come I can control them and not be controlled.